Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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