Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
