I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
