It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
