Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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