even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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