i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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