Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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