haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
