escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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