yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
