it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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