WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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