you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
