I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
