Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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