I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
