They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
