i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
