party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
