his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
