so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I did not marry a roomba.
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