haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
