So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
