U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
