I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Bring me that man meat
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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