She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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