Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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