she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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