Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
