it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize