Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
