just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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