can u get pink eye on your cock?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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