Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
