don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
