It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
