He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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