Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
