WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
smell my finger.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize