i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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