whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
