Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize