We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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