Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
