I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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