that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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