By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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