You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
