have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
