i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Your mouth is God's brothel.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
