All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
