If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ladies don't puke and tell
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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