i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
