Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you never un-have a 4some
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize