Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what day is it and did you see me today?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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