so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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