Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
