when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
