Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
