i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
