It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
