C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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