you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
