YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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